Gotta get out of here, get it all off my mind...and like a memory from your grandpa's attic...a song comes slippin' through the radio static...changing my mood...get lost and get right with my soul....
Have you ever listened to a song and found yourself completely lost in the lyrics... transporting yourself to a different place in time.... Have you listened to a song and thought the words fit your life nearly perfect? I spend a lot of time listening to music...when it comes down to it, more than I realized.... ten hours a week for my work commute, eight hours in the background at work each day, approximately four hours a week on the lawn mower, and then I always have something playing on the weekends while I am doing chores. This weekend while I was logging my lawn mower hours, I started to analyze my iPod play lists. Lets just say it is eclectic mix... But the one thing each song has in common, is how they fit into my life. Snippets of songs have told my story.. conveyed my feelings....marked my emotions...provided an escape....brought a smile to my lips... When I struggle with words to express my feelings or struggle to make sense of my life, I let the lyrics in my play list do the work....
the hurt... the pain...
life ain't always what you think it ought to be.... ain't even gray but she buries her baby... the sharp knife of a short life.... I've had just enough time...
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you... Caught up up in circles...confusion is nothing new... After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray....watching through windows you're wondering if I'm OK.....
Every time I think of you. I always catch my breath... And I'm still standing here...And you're miles away... And I am wondering why you left.... And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight. ....the hidden reality....
she never slows down...she doesn't know why... but she knows that when shes all alone feels like it it's all coming down... she won't turn around... the shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear... the tears will not stop raining down... so stand in the rain.. stand your ground... stand up when it's all crashing down.. you stand through the pain... you won't drown...and one day what's lost will be found....you stand in the rain... she won't make a sound...alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she''ll fall down... she wants to be found... the only way out is through everything she's running from... wants to give up and lie down...so stand in the rain... stand your ground... stand up when it's all crashing down...
People say that I am brave but I'm not... truth is I'm barely hanging on....
anger... frustration....
what do you want... what do you want from me.... are you trying to bring back the tears or just a memory... you keep taking me back to where I have already been....what do you want from me... I get so tired of living like this... to find the things to keep my mind off of you... what do you want me to say..
to find a release from reality... a release from the pain.... or to transport me to a time when I was carefree...progress.....
It's been a long road and a million tears. I'm moving slow but I'm moving on.... The sweetest memories still remain... time and fate can't be controlled... you play the hand that you're dealt and the dice that you rolled... and who am I to question God anyway...well these days when I look back, I know I am blessed to have been loved like that... I still miss him every day....with no regrets... and peace of mind... lived so much in so little time...I'm so glad, when he was here, he was mine....from the day we met... to the night he left... I loved him... with no regrets....hope...
send me away with the words of a love song....lord make me a rainbow I'll shine down on my mother... she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors...
it's like a storm... that cuts a path... it breaks your will... it feels like that... you think you are lost... but you are not lost on your own... you're not alone... I will hold you tight and I won't let go... it hurts my heart to see you cry... i know its dark, this part of life... oh it finds us all... we are too small to stop the rain, oh but when it rains.. I will stand by you, I will help you through when you have done all you can do and you can't cope... don't be afraid to fall... it won't get you down... you are gonna make it... I know you are gonna make it....
life ain't always beautiful... but it's a beautiful ride....
a bigger picture .....
but there's a greater story... written long before me... because he loves you like this... i will carry you while your heart beats here... long beyond the empty cradle through the coming years....i will carry you.... all my life... I will praise the One whose chosen me to carry you... such a short time, such a long road... all this madness but I know.. that the silence has brought me to his voice...
an escape....
memory lane up in the headlights... has got me reminiscing all the good times...listening to old Alabama... driving through Tennessee...
Turn the quiet up... turn the noise down... let this old world just spin around... i wanna feel it swing... i wanna feel it sway... put some feel good in my soul.... act like tomorrow is ten years away... kick back and let the feelings flow...
My emotional play list will be an evolving process... some days will be stuck on repeat... some days will rewind... and others will fast forward... but at the end of the day it will be an acoustic version of me finding my balance and getting right with my soul....
3 comments:
Thank you! You are a wonderful lady and there was a reason God gave Palmer to you for his short time on Earth! We don't know the answers to why, but HE promises the questions will have answers oneday! Love you all.
Amazing how life experiences change the meaning of lyrics sometimes...
A conversation I will never have with my son on this earth:
"Be a simple kind of man, be someone who'll love and understand. Baby, be a simple kind of man. Oh won't you do this for me son, if you can."
Perspective changes everything, I suppose. Songs I used to love I can barely listen to anymore, because they now mean so much more than they ever did.
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