His Willful Heart

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I have been going through mementos, photographs and keepsakes over the last few days. This was an impromptu recording taken on Palmer's birthday with my Blackberry. Palmer was very active and did not cooperate with the fetal monitors that day. Timing was of essence and critical for him to be considered for tissue donation. We ended up agreeing to check his heartbeat every hour during labor to document if his heartbeat was still going strong.  Each passing hour was emotional for everyone in the room... family, friends and staff. There was always a collective sigh of relief when the rhythmic pace was heard. Reality may have been waiting around the corner, but those moments belonged to us.

I will always cherish this sound. So in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and remembrance of my son, I will share this memory with you. On the right hand side at the top there is an audio player entitled "His Willful Heart"... before you press play, please mute the audio player at the bottom of the blog. The recording is quiet, so you may need to turn your computer volume up.

Thank you for allowing me to share my son with you.